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Subject: ==LaUGh LInES==
Replies: 102 Views: 5181
zeba8888 12.09.12 - 04:28pm
Hi friendz m new here... *
hayakhan 12.09.12 - 07:26pm
ZEEBA
LOLZ!! HW R U? *
kenlady 30.09.12 - 09:18am
Hey hayakhan where r mo 
moments.....somebody wanna break ha ribs tho noone is there to chew them. *
hayakhan 1.10.12 - 12:32pm
kenlady *
hayakhan 1.10.12 - 12:33pm
by da way 
kenlady *
kenlady 4.10.12 - 07:56pm
Hey Hayakhan (thankyou) *
hayakhan 5.10.12 - 08:53am
(Thank) kenlady *
hayakhan 5.10.12 - 08:53am
clipart huh *
hayakhan 5.10.12 - 08:54am
kenlady *
kenlady 5.10.12 - 07:04pm
Tx 
Hayakhan 4 the warm welcome. *
hayakhan 6.10.12 - 07:57am
U CN ALSO POST IN ERE KENLADY 
HEY WATS UR NAME? *
hayakhan 6.10.12 - 08:01am
Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa. *
hayakhan 6.10.12 - 08:01am
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in lif *
hayakhan 6.10.12 - 08:02am
Hard work never killed anybody - But why take the risk ! *
kenlady 1.11.12 - 09:53pm
This news reporter arrived at the accident scene. Too much congestion. Only way he was able to press thro was by claiming the victim was his wife. N there he was just abt to take fotos. The victim was a donkey. *
hayakhan 6.11.12 - 01:05am
*
zedd07 14.11.12 - 08:39am
dat wasnt funny at all.. *
mrdavid 15.11.12 - 10:25pm
I thought it was funny 
*
kenlady 18.11.12 - 11:30am
MrDavid tx 4 the encouragement... *
bekar 20.11.12 - 09:11pm
Plz are this pieplo geting pad 4 dis? *
mrdavid 20.11.12 - 10:16pm
Hey at least they are trying!
As my wife lay dead on the floor and the weapon next to her, the detective said,
Do you want to tell me what happened?
I was cleaning it and it went off, I replied.
It's a bow and arrow, He shouted. *
mrdavid 20.11.12 - 10:21pm
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter. 'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther I'm 85 years old. if I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.' The pilot over heard the couple and said, 'folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride; if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! but if you say one word, it's 50 dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. the pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. he did his dare devil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'by golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't . I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'well I almost said something when Esther fell out, but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!' *
mrdavid 20.11.12 - 10:25pm
My sister, Paula, and her husband, Chris, had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening when they heard crying coming from the children's room. Rushing in, they found Tommy crying hysterically.
He had accidentally sw*llowed a 5p piece and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a 5p coin that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Tommy's ear. Tommy, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he sn*tched it from his father's hand, sw*llowed it and demanded cheerfully - 'Do it again, Dad!' *
zedd07 21.11.12 - 03:23am
dats funny.. lolololol *
mrdavid 23.11.12 - 03:03pm
ADULT SCRABBLE:
Rearrange the letters below to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more important when erect...
P N E S I
People who wrote spine became doctors
The rest, are sadly the sort of people that are my friends. 
*
kenlady 24.11.12 - 03:56am
*
mrdavid 20.01.13 - 11:48am
I'll never join one of those online dating services. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way.
Through alcohol and poor judgement. *
mrdavid 22.01.13 - 12:20pm
New Scotland manager Gordon Strachan says he is already preparing for the 2014 world cup.
He has bought himself a new TV. *
mrdavid 31.01.13 - 12:05am
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present...
They are due back at the library today! *
mrdavid 31.01.13 - 12:26am
They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today.
Somebody came in speaking English. *
mrdavid 5.02.13 - 02:08pm
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, Dave, I can't sleep.
Well it's your lucky day, I said, I've got a party going on in here, come in. *
mrdavid 5.02.13 - 02:18pm
I can't believe our 4 year old son is already looking at p*rn online!
I said to my wife when she checked the internet history. *
mrdavid 19.02.13 - 11:39pm
random facts; 1)20 percent of the world's population lives in China. 2)In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.3) The youngest pope was 11 years old.4) Male and female rats may have s*x twenty times a day. 5)22% of American women aged 20 gave birth while in their teens. In Switzerland and Japan, only 2% did so. 6)s*x is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium! 7)For every 'normal' webpage, there are five p*rn pages. 8)Male bats have the highest rate of homos*xuality of any mammal. 9)The average shelf-life of a latex condom is about two years. 10)When swans go on a date, they'll put their heads together. Then they stick together for life. 11)The word gymnasium comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means to exercise naked. 12)Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) 13)In india it is cheaper to have s*x with a prostitue than buy a condom! 14)s*x burns 360 calories per hour 15)Women who read romance novels have s*x twice as often as those who don't. 16)The Ramses brand condom is named after the great phaoroh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children. 17)Males, on average, think about s*x every 7 seconds. 18)The greatest recorded number of children one mother had was 69 children. Do the maths! 19)The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. 20)The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were: Fred and Wilma Flintstone. 21)Some lions mate over 50 times a day. 22)Humans, bonobo monkeys, and dolphins are the only species that have s*x for pleasure. 23)The penalty for masturb*tion in Indonesia is decapitation 24)Turkeys can reproduce without having s*x. It's called parthenogenesis. 25)Each day, there are over 120 million s*xual intercourse taking place all over the world. 26)A pig's org*sm lasts for 30 minutes. 27)Donald Duck comics were once banned from Finland because Donald doesn't wear pants. 28)85% of men who die of heartattacks during intercourse, are found to have been cheating on their wives. 29)Snakes have two s*x organs. 30)25 percent of women think money makes a man s*xier.
*
mrdavid 23.02.13 - 10:49am
Oscar Pistorious has now changed his claim. He claims that he woke up in the night, and heard a sound coming from the bathroom. He didn't check if his girlfriend was in the bed beside him, and automatically assumed that a criminal had come to murder him,
But had stopped off for a s**t first. *
mrdavid 23.02.13 - 11:13am
It was my first prostitute and I was nervous.
Just tell me what you really like, she said.
Promise you won't laugh?
Of course I won't, she said.
OK, I said. Cheeseburgers. *
mrdavid 23.02.13 - 11:16am
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.
Footprints. *
mrdavid 23.02.13 - 11:26am
Those Tesco burgers containing horse meat is nothing, my daughter bought something from there that contained traces of s**t.
A One Direction CD. 
*
mrdavid 23.02.13 - 11:27am
A cow walks into a bar.
Barman asks, Why the long face?
Cow replies, Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs! *
mrdavid 1.03.13 - 07:24am
Looking forward to getting my toilet redecorated.
It looks like a s**t hole at the moment. *
mrdavid 1.03.13 - 07:27am
According to the BBC News, the Vatican will soon be choosing a new Pope to lead the 1.2 billion Catholics around the world.
That's one hell of a conga. *
mrdavid 1.03.13 - 07:30am
i couldnt log on to facebook this morning so if anybody who knows me reads this will you tell everybody i know that i. overslept,had no breakfast,and have to wait till i get to work for a s**t. *
surya102 6.03.13 - 08:00am
days r 2 busy,hours r 2 fast.seconds r 2 few,but there's always time to disturb u *
surya102 6.03.13 - 08:04am
my life was in darkness before i met u but now it is bright. you know why bcz u r a tube light.@@ *
surya102 6.03.13 - 08:13am
so sweet is ur smile,so sweet is ur style,so sweet is ur voice,so sweet is ur eye,and so sweet i lie..@@.. *
mrdavid 2.04.13 - 12:28am
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. *
brianah9 3.04.13 - 05:01pm
fk you *
mrdavid 4.04.13 - 01:32am
and fk you too *
mrdavid 28.08.13 - 05:41pm
*
mrdavid 22.09.13 - 04:14am
Apparently, the security fingerprint sensor on the iPhone 5S can be unlocked by a cat's paw.
I was wondering how they managed to upload all their videos to YouTube. *
mrdavid 22.09.13 - 04:23am
Whilst walking the dog today, I was flicking through my new i-phone and began thinking about technology and how it has completely revolutionized our lives , thus enabling us to do things we wouldn't have dreamt about doing twenty years ago. I then paused to pick up dog s**t with my hand inside a plastic fking bag! *
